I was sent the below information:
Healing Through Works: Sexual Assault Activism
This workshop will provide insight on how sexual assault activism and victim rights advocacy serve as pivotal moments in sexual assault recovery.
Dr. Salamishah Tillet
Beyond Black & White: Race, Rape and The Popular CultureBy looking at recent high-profile cases and using feminist theory,critical race theory,cultural studies,and legal scholarship to better understand how race,gender,class and sexuality shape public perceptions of both sexual assault victims and assailants.
Rose Wagner
Center for the Performing Arts
138 West 300 South
April 4th 2008
WORKSHOPS:TIME: 9:00am - 11:45am
Scholarships are available by calling the Rape Recovery Center at:(801) 467-7282Registration is limited.Make checks payable to the Rape Recovery Center and mail,fax or email registration forms to Sarah at:s.french@raperecoverycenter.org or 2035 South 1300 East,SLC,Utah,84105.Call (801) 467-7282,ext.10 to register by phone or fax (801) 467-7280.For more information on this and other SAAM2008 events please see www.saamutah2008.com
Monday, March 24, 2008
Why?
I do have some people ask me; Why? Why do I write on child abuse, why do I care, and is it going to make a difference?
I am not going to put a stop to abuse. I know it is a battle thats has gone on forever, and will go on until the end of this life.
What I do hope, is I can make the difference in at least one person's life. I can provide hope, or courage for at least one person. For that person, I will make a difference. If one person changes, it is all I ask. Of course if there are ten, twenty, or even 100, I would know there was a difference made.
I have read articles were officers of the law have said, "It is to small of crime to really care." I have also read an article where someone said, "There is to much abuse out there to control it."
The whole goal is to make everyone more aware of the subject, and what is out there to help. If you are aware of a program in your local area, please let me know, and I can post the information.
Maybe they are correct. For me, anytime someone else is taken advantage of, it is a crime. Not matter how small the crime is, there is somebody being hurt.
I am not going to put a stop to abuse. I know it is a battle thats has gone on forever, and will go on until the end of this life.
What I do hope, is I can make the difference in at least one person's life. I can provide hope, or courage for at least one person. For that person, I will make a difference. If one person changes, it is all I ask. Of course if there are ten, twenty, or even 100, I would know there was a difference made.
I have read articles were officers of the law have said, "It is to small of crime to really care." I have also read an article where someone said, "There is to much abuse out there to control it."
The whole goal is to make everyone more aware of the subject, and what is out there to help. If you are aware of a program in your local area, please let me know, and I can post the information.
Maybe they are correct. For me, anytime someone else is taken advantage of, it is a crime. Not matter how small the crime is, there is somebody being hurt.
Monday, March 17, 2008
The Sacredness of Children
With all the negative news being reported, we should focus more on the family, and how in our families we can make the difference. Our society and even our world can be a better place if we, as parents, raise our children and don’t let society raise them for us. I have selected four paragraphs from different resources on the topic of raising children and how the family is the most important structure in any government. I will not comment on any of them as I feel they are direct and tactful on the subject.
In the article The Father-Child Bond, Ron Huxley wrote, “Children need the unique style of bonding that fathers can provide, and fathers can build that bond by spending time engaging in physical, intellectual, social and spiritual activities.”
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints presented a proclamation titled, The Family: A Proclamation to the World. Here is a paragraph from the article:
“Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.”
On the website, http://www.smartparentingadvice.com/ there is a great article on the subject.
The article is titled Parenting and Raising Children.
“Children depend on their parents and family members for encouragement,protection, and support as they learn to think for themselves. Children need a safe and loving home where they do not have to grow up in fear. If the child's dignity is safe, that is nobody encroaches upon a child physically or verbally, then he is able to learn. Children require a lot of love, patience, time, energy, money, and planning in order to give them the life they deserve. It takes two people to make a child and two people to raise him/her."
The last paragraph I will share is from the link http://guidance.gospelcom.net/family.htm
"We excuse ourselves by saying, "We don't spend much time together, but our time is quality time." This makes me wonder what one minute of "quality time" per day might include. Perhaps you will agree with me that quality time cannot exist apart from quantities of time."
"Another argument we use is: "My kids are young. If I'm not around that much for the first few years, it won't matter." This attitude fails to take into account the fact that many opportunities present themselves only once and only for a moment. A child is only two for one year. Toddlers do not remain toddlers for long. We must seize every opportunity to be together because none of us knows which moments are going to be locked forever into a child's memory. And none of us knows which experiences will mark turning points in a child's life.”
Each comment is blunt and to the point. We all need to do better. A friend also suggested checking out the videos of videos.lds.org.
In the article The Father-Child Bond, Ron Huxley wrote, “Children need the unique style of bonding that fathers can provide, and fathers can build that bond by spending time engaging in physical, intellectual, social and spiritual activities.”
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints presented a proclamation titled, The Family: A Proclamation to the World. Here is a paragraph from the article:
“Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.”
On the website, http://www.smartparentingadvice.com/ there is a great article on the subject.
The article is titled Parenting and Raising Children.
“Children depend on their parents and family members for encouragement,protection, and support as they learn to think for themselves. Children need a safe and loving home where they do not have to grow up in fear. If the child's dignity is safe, that is nobody encroaches upon a child physically or verbally, then he is able to learn. Children require a lot of love, patience, time, energy, money, and planning in order to give them the life they deserve. It takes two people to make a child and two people to raise him/her."
The last paragraph I will share is from the link http://guidance.gospelcom.net/family.htm
"We excuse ourselves by saying, "We don't spend much time together, but our time is quality time." This makes me wonder what one minute of "quality time" per day might include. Perhaps you will agree with me that quality time cannot exist apart from quantities of time."
"Another argument we use is: "My kids are young. If I'm not around that much for the first few years, it won't matter." This attitude fails to take into account the fact that many opportunities present themselves only once and only for a moment. A child is only two for one year. Toddlers do not remain toddlers for long. We must seize every opportunity to be together because none of us knows which moments are going to be locked forever into a child's memory. And none of us knows which experiences will mark turning points in a child's life.”
Each comment is blunt and to the point. We all need to do better. A friend also suggested checking out the videos of videos.lds.org.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Placement By Necessity
The below article was provided by an at-risk youth mentor. They are from his experiences, and are his comments.
When I first started working as an at-risk youth mentor, I have to admit I was a bit judgmental. The youth are in the system for some serious crimes, including burglary, sex offense, drugs, violence, etc. As I got to know some of the youth, I would think “they deserve to be here”. However, as I have familiarized myself with the system and gotten to know the boys, my mindset has changed some.
First, most of our clients come from a dysfunctional family and never learn how to interact on a “normal” level. Additionally, many of the youth we deal with have been in the system for a few years and have spent time in a secured facility (“prison” for minors, what our clients call “lockup”). This means they have spent a significant amount of time around other, more hardened, offenders (including homicidal schizophrenics and rapists). Unfortunately, this means that their peer group mentality and family teachings reflect a skewed outlook on life. I am no scientist, but it appears that this mentality may sometimes foster a quasi-Darwinist approach to living—they have not learned how to live, they have learned how to survive. Upon exiting the system, this same mentality follows the youth into the “real world”.
In conjunction with that, my understanding of the purpose of the system is to “catch them while they are young”, as I once heard on a prison movie. We want to keep them from committing crimes as to keep them from entering the adult prison system. In other words, our goal is to help the at-risk youth learn how to live (not just survive). This is a very difficult task because the majority of our clients come from a dysfunctional family—with parents who never taught them how to live and take care of themselves within the context of any moral framework. It thus becomes our purpose and responsibility to fill in the moral gaps, not only as an at-risk youth program, but as a society, to help these children learn to live. We must help them develop a moral framework compatible and consistent with the “real world” expectations, which will keep them out of the adult system and provide them a better life.
As I mentioned above, my mindset has changed. For the most part, I no longer think that our clients deserve to be in the system. Instead, I say to myself “they need” to be in the system, which is different. Placement by necessity is different than placement by merit. Placement by necessity allots an enormous amount of responsibility to “society” to ensure that the client’s mentality shifts from surviving to living. As society’s mentality shifts from “they deserve” to “they need” to be in the system, I believe our thoughts will turn to the neglectful childhood most of our clients come from. Hopefully, this mentality will foster a greater desire to provide the moral framework the at-risk “deserve.”
When I first started working as an at-risk youth mentor, I have to admit I was a bit judgmental. The youth are in the system for some serious crimes, including burglary, sex offense, drugs, violence, etc. As I got to know some of the youth, I would think “they deserve to be here”. However, as I have familiarized myself with the system and gotten to know the boys, my mindset has changed some.
First, most of our clients come from a dysfunctional family and never learn how to interact on a “normal” level. Additionally, many of the youth we deal with have been in the system for a few years and have spent time in a secured facility (“prison” for minors, what our clients call “lockup”). This means they have spent a significant amount of time around other, more hardened, offenders (including homicidal schizophrenics and rapists). Unfortunately, this means that their peer group mentality and family teachings reflect a skewed outlook on life. I am no scientist, but it appears that this mentality may sometimes foster a quasi-Darwinist approach to living—they have not learned how to live, they have learned how to survive. Upon exiting the system, this same mentality follows the youth into the “real world”.
In conjunction with that, my understanding of the purpose of the system is to “catch them while they are young”, as I once heard on a prison movie. We want to keep them from committing crimes as to keep them from entering the adult prison system. In other words, our goal is to help the at-risk youth learn how to live (not just survive). This is a very difficult task because the majority of our clients come from a dysfunctional family—with parents who never taught them how to live and take care of themselves within the context of any moral framework. It thus becomes our purpose and responsibility to fill in the moral gaps, not only as an at-risk youth program, but as a society, to help these children learn to live. We must help them develop a moral framework compatible and consistent with the “real world” expectations, which will keep them out of the adult system and provide them a better life.
As I mentioned above, my mindset has changed. For the most part, I no longer think that our clients deserve to be in the system. Instead, I say to myself “they need” to be in the system, which is different. Placement by necessity is different than placement by merit. Placement by necessity allots an enormous amount of responsibility to “society” to ensure that the client’s mentality shifts from surviving to living. As society’s mentality shifts from “they deserve” to “they need” to be in the system, I believe our thoughts will turn to the neglectful childhood most of our clients come from. Hopefully, this mentality will foster a greater desire to provide the moral framework the at-risk “deserve.”
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
The Clothesline Project
Earlier this year, I visited The Clothesline Project. It was one of those events which leaves you thinking about your experience for days afterward. I learned some unbelievable statistics and read some very disturbing stories. I would like to share with you more about what the project is and also the statistics. If you do not want to read the rest of the article, please stop now.
To describe the scene I saw: It was at a local college and it took place at the ballroom. As you looked from the outside in, you would see rows of clotheslines.
There were maybe 15-20 clotheslines. Most of the lines are filled up with different colors of shirts. The last couple rows were mostly empty. The two rows were used for new shirts for those who want to share their horrific experiences.
The colors of the shirts show a different form of abuse and if the victim had survived from what they experienced. The meanings of the colors were written on a pamphlet I received:
White represents women who died because of violence
Yellow or beige represents battered or assaulted women
Red, pink, and orange are for survivors of rape and sexual assault
Blue and green t-shirts represent survivors of incest and sexual abuse
Purple or lavender represents women attacked because their
sexual orientation
Gray for survivors of verbal and/or emotional abuse
Brown for survivors of spiritual abuse
Black is for women attacked for political reasons
Each shirt also has a story to it. The story is either provided by those who were abused, a friend, or a family member of those who had not survived. The shirts are confidential. Unless a name is listed you do not know who these women are; you only know the tragic event which took place.
As I walked through the display, I became sick to my stomach and even wanted to walk away. I did not. In respect to the women, and even children, I continued on.
It was quiet, and it was if the ballroom had transformed to hollow ground. Everyone around was whispering, or just reading. Occasionally you could hear different sounds in the background. They were not loud enough to disturb the mood, but loud enough you could hear them.
The pamphlet I held spoke of the different sounds I was hearing.
“The gong is struck to indicate someone is being battered. Women are battered every 10 to 12 seconds in the United States. The whistle is being blown to indicate a reported rape. Keep in mind that most rapes are not reported. Every minute of every day more than one woman reports being raped in this country. The bell is rung to indicate that a woman has been killed in a violent attack. In the United States 3 to 4 women are killed by their lovers or husbands each day.”
[November 1993 National Victim Center Statistics]
I can not explain how I felt. I can not explain to you how much anger I had in me for those who take advantage of others in such selfish ways. The stories I read, I will never forget. I wish I could do more. There are not words I can use right now. I wish I could take the project into your home.
I would recommend checking your local area for the project. It is a great way to support and to fight this battle. I will end with a little about the history of the project. The next part is directly from the pamphlet I have been referring to. The project started in 1990, “when the Cape Cod Women’s Defense Agenda learned that 58,000 soldiers were killed during the Vietnam War, and during that same time 51,000 women in the United States were killed by men claiming to love them.”
(If you want to find out more about the history of the project or about the project please go to their website http://www.clotheslineproject.org/ )
To describe the scene I saw: It was at a local college and it took place at the ballroom. As you looked from the outside in, you would see rows of clotheslines.
There were maybe 15-20 clotheslines. Most of the lines are filled up with different colors of shirts. The last couple rows were mostly empty. The two rows were used for new shirts for those who want to share their horrific experiences.
The colors of the shirts show a different form of abuse and if the victim had survived from what they experienced. The meanings of the colors were written on a pamphlet I received:
White represents women who died because of violence
Yellow or beige represents battered or assaulted women
Red, pink, and orange are for survivors of rape and sexual assault
Blue and green t-shirts represent survivors of incest and sexual abuse
Purple or lavender represents women attacked because their
sexual orientation
Gray for survivors of verbal and/or emotional abuse
Brown for survivors of spiritual abuse
Black is for women attacked for political reasons
Each shirt also has a story to it. The story is either provided by those who were abused, a friend, or a family member of those who had not survived. The shirts are confidential. Unless a name is listed you do not know who these women are; you only know the tragic event which took place.
As I walked through the display, I became sick to my stomach and even wanted to walk away. I did not. In respect to the women, and even children, I continued on.
It was quiet, and it was if the ballroom had transformed to hollow ground. Everyone around was whispering, or just reading. Occasionally you could hear different sounds in the background. They were not loud enough to disturb the mood, but loud enough you could hear them.
The pamphlet I held spoke of the different sounds I was hearing.
“The gong is struck to indicate someone is being battered. Women are battered every 10 to 12 seconds in the United States. The whistle is being blown to indicate a reported rape. Keep in mind that most rapes are not reported. Every minute of every day more than one woman reports being raped in this country. The bell is rung to indicate that a woman has been killed in a violent attack. In the United States 3 to 4 women are killed by their lovers or husbands each day.”
[November 1993 National Victim Center Statistics]
I can not explain how I felt. I can not explain to you how much anger I had in me for those who take advantage of others in such selfish ways. The stories I read, I will never forget. I wish I could do more. There are not words I can use right now. I wish I could take the project into your home.
I would recommend checking your local area for the project. It is a great way to support and to fight this battle. I will end with a little about the history of the project. The next part is directly from the pamphlet I have been referring to. The project started in 1990, “when the Cape Cod Women’s Defense Agenda learned that 58,000 soldiers were killed during the Vietnam War, and during that same time 51,000 women in the United States were killed by men claiming to love them.”
(If you want to find out more about the history of the project or about the project please go to their website http://www.clotheslineproject.org/ )
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